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Chair

 

played by “Triforce” Mike

Class: Tank

Current Character Sheet

Chair was once an ordinary piece of lifeless furniture who was, by way of some vile majicks, turned into a living, breathing dwarf.  Having been gifted with baseline speech and knowledge while in an adult body, Chair doesn’t react to situations as a normal person would and many experiences are a first for him.  He doesn’t like to wear clothing and most sensations (no matter how trivial) send him into a fix of sexual arousal.  Chair lacks what most would call common sense and his personality is extremely unstable. Blows to the head have caused him to take on other persona, such as a cowboy and a fop.

Chair loves his “friends” though his companions loathe him.  His most loyal compatriot is a cockroach that lives under his foreskin.  Chair refers to the Goliath, Vimak, as his “wife” because they were once both under a fallen tapestry which Chair believes to be part of a marriage ceremony.  Tragic events during “Mid-Day in the Maze of Mischief” have left a mark on Chair and potentially put him in the favor of a powerful goddess, Galadriel. However, their relationship is… complicated.

Chair can shift partially into his original wooden form, which he uses as a defense mechanism.  He calls this “Chare moed”:


Jamela Dalla Egberte III

played by Cap

Class: Invoker

Current Character Sheet

Jamela is a female Dragonborn from a subterranean tribe who live in volcanic steam tunnels.  Her tribe worships Tiamat, and under Tiamat their Dragon Lord, Phallus the Tunneler.  Her culture, living in near darkness, treasures bright colors and glistening objects.  They function in their sunless world by practicing light majicks and covet the gems and metals that sparkle in the light.  Jamela was raised to be an invoker, “those who light the way toward all that glimmers”,  and excelled beyond her kin in her invocations.  As a youngling she was taken into the lair of the Great Phallus that he might congratulate her at the end of her training.  He said he wanted to give her “a pearl necklace”, but Jamela wouldn’t accept a jewel that she herself had not discovered.  She departed from her Dragon Lord, vowing to return again when she had found a pearl necklace of her own.

Jamela hunted her subterranean world for these “pearls” relentlessly.  Many who quested in the deepest depths of the steam tunnels went mad, but Jamela learned them well, gaining her the title “Mistress of the Steam Tunnels”.  One day she came upon a surface-dweller who’d gotten lost.  The Goliath, called Vimak, told her that pearls came from the seas above, and so Jamela left with the stranger in search of the glory of new treasures.  During her brief time in the surface world, Jamela’s search has become a quest for wealth and vanity.  The world of light and color has delighted her and she has all but forgotten her intention of returning home, preferring the allure of self-serving adventure.

The Dragonborn is distinctive amongst her party for her distractingly sensual movements in battle and on the hunt.  She is a skilled tracker and magic combatant. The shiny jewelry and bright colors she likes to wear make her an easily spotted target, but actually taking her down is another thing altogether.


Jen’Ifer

played by Brian

Class: Warlock

Current Character Sheet

Jen’Ifer comes from Cleave-Land, a terrifying realm of endless suffering and bifurcation in what some would refer to as “hell”.  His is an ancient and seldom-diluted bloodline of Tiefling that has long sided with the daemon lords of old and has not forgotten the unholy pacts of daemon and man that made them.  Jen’Ifer and his tribe despise the modern, “goody two-shoes”, “I’m ‘evil’ but not” Tieflings almost as much as they despise each other.

Cleave-Land was once the leading producer of Scorchin’ Habanero Doritos, the favorite chip of fiery hell fiends.  But in their greed and poor planning, the Tieflings of Cleave-Land wiped out their entire supply in only a few hundred years.  No matter how deeply they dug, another vein could not be found.  With their factories closed, Cleave-Land entered a glorious new age of suffering.  Jen’Ifer hatched in the first generation of “Scorchless”children, each given a single chip on their sixth birthday that they might taste it and live forever more dreaming of the wealth of flavor that once was.

In his youth, Jen’Ifer aspired to be a champion Surf Baiter, the most popular and fearsome sport in Cleave-Land.  In Surf Baiting, the contestants catch twelve cute and defenseless animals and drag them in the wake of their board as they surf the dangerous Subterranean Sulfur Sea.  The goal is to lure out the largest sea wyrm possible, beach it, and battle it.  Points are awarded for style and brutality.  Jen’ifer’s cowardice and self-preserving caution did not serve him well as a ‘Baiter and these teenage failures would shape the rest of his wretched and vile life.

The Tiefling typically battles from a safe distance, launching fiery Eldritch Blasts to smite his foes.  His motives for staying with CHAIR, Vimak, and Jamela despite his profound loathing for all of them are a mystery, perhaps even to him.


Vimak

played by hex

Class: Shaman

Current Character Sheet

Vimak is a Goliath from the Ironback Mountains. His adventure began when he was just a young boy.  One night, the young Vimak ventured from the safety of his settlement and into a dark and forbidden valley. It was a spiritual place only for the high shamanic elders to visit for meditation, and the ignorant child wandered the dark valley until he encountered a large monster. Vimak’s young mind went numb with fear of death. Miraculously, an equally ferocious wolf-bear, a magical combination of the two creatures, attacked the large monster, defending the child. Vimak rode the wolf-bear back to his people. When he returned, the hunters misunderstood the wolf-bear’s presence and killed it, fearing for the boy.

Vimak felt a connection to the beast and took to the path of a Shaman in order to commune with the spirit of the creature that had saved him. He stayed with the settlement only long enough to learn basic training. Vimak wished to see more of the world, and knew he would only find the spirit of the wolf-bear in the heat of danger.

Finding the wolf-bear’s spirit was a milestone in the young Goliath’s life, and has made him very proud of who he is. Despite his grizzled appearance, Vimak is very loving and jovial.  He adores company and making mirth.  He often announces proudly “I AM VIMAK,” as a way to relay the pride of his accomplishments.

During his adventures, Vimak came across the Dragonborn, Jamela Dalla Egberte III, and quickly befriended her, seeing Jamela as a companion to help him understand the mystical arts.Vimak is a very loyal companion and truly values his allies. Unintentionally he serves as the moral compass of the group, keeping them banded with his proud smile and laugh.


BartyBarthalemew Aelfgar Gleem’n

played by Colin

Class: Rogue – Gleeman

Current Character Sheet

Performer for Kings, Queens, Gods. This man has brought grown men to their knees sobbing for

their wet nurses, he’s made maidens across Doritodonia scream out for an encore- More Barty! More!  His name is Barthalemew Aelfgar Gleenm’n, but you may call him Barty.

The leader of a now defunct performance troupe, Gleem’n has traveled all throughout Doritodonia, reciting sonnets, performing daring feats of juggling, astounding audiences with his sleight of hand, and amassing a repertoire of the most exciting stories in the realm. His wit is matched only by his charm and he has never needed to pay for lodging… ever. There is always a helpful barmaid ready to ‘accommodate’ him. He’s a lover first and foremost, and will attempt to talk himself out of most altercations with enraged husbands. But when talking is clearly not enough, Barty is a relatively skilled fighter. His years of stage performance has resulted in exceptional skill with the rapier and throwing knives as well as a superb acrobatic prowess. His days of performing ended when he was caught ‘rehearsing’ for “The Seven Lusts of Gygax: The Musical” with Princess Jalapeño Porquer. Barty’s been on the run ever since.


Lefty – The Queen of Corney Island

played by Lefty Lucy

Class: Swashbuckler

Current Character Sheet

Borne from the heinous rape of a tribal queen at the hands of the pirate captain, Corney – Lefty is a child of two opposing worlds.  Her mother’s rape overthrew her reign as queen making Corney and his band of immortal pirates, rulers of the isle.  Lefty’s was unintended, but she proved useful to the dread Captain, as her birth made killing Cornay completely taboo within tribal culture. To the islanders, she represented what was left of the royal bloodline, which nearly disappeared when Lefty’s mother died in child birth, and to the pirates she represented a trophy to be won in order to gain Cornay’s favor.  She did not belong to either world and had to fight to survive.

As a girl, Lefty found something of a home in the tribal community who taught her their traditions, and told her stories of the island before the pirates. But as she grew older, she became alienated from everyone. To her father, she was just a shield, to the pirates, she was an item, and to the islanders, her involvement with the pirates led them to fear and distrust her.  She has learned to be always on guard, always ready for an attack, but dreams of finding comfort, family, and avenging her people.


chesswizardGaldap

played by Cap

A powerful sorcerer and/or wizard from beyond time and space and a practitioner of magicks beyond mortal comprehension.  This senile old coot inexplicably started narrating the travels of our heroes during the second episode.  The burden of wizardry has not been kind to him and his mind seems to be… unreliable.  He can see into countless worlds and Doritodan, ur… Doritodonia, uh… WHATEVER – it is but one of them!  Through Galdap’s blatherings we have gathered a few tidbits of information about him: he’s been married at least once, has some personal affiliation with the Game Masters, goes by several titles, such as “Galdap the Misunderstood”, “Galdap the Fetid”, “Galdap the Imperceptible”, also the very different-sounding “Galdap the Intrepid”, and is afflicted with countless ailments. He once claimed to be a handsome twenty year old man with enhanced decrepitude via mystical AIDS given to him by the keeper of the Erotic Pangolin.  However, the truth of this and many of his claims remains to be seen.


Your Dungeon Masters

Ruel Knudson

Creator of Sagas RPG and author of all its texts – fantasy, modern and sci-fi, side quests and game mechanics – the whole enchilada.  Ruel knows role playing games inside and out and is now our in-house game master pitting us on outstanding adventures.  Check out the Nerdy Show episode, “Cosmic Things” where we interviewed Ruel just before we embarked with him on our new journeys.

System: Sagas RPG

Website: Sagas RPG

Contact: ruel@nerdyshow.com

Featured episodes:
Episode 5 :: BirdbathCurrent

_____________________________________________________________

Hex!

When Hex isn’t shouting his own name, he’s shouting Vimak’s name and when he isn’t shouting Vimak’s name… He DMs a game of DnD!

System: Dungeons & Dragons (Interpretive)

Website: Nerdapalooza

Contact: hex@nerdyshow.com

Featured episodes:
Episode 4 :: Mid-Day in the Maze of Mischief

_____________________________________________________________

23853_418500967488_635912488_5478133_909301_nAaron “Masurao” Yarhouse

Ninja rapper, and dungeon master – crusin’ through the dominion with a ghetto blaster.  The man who launched our band of misfit adventurers into action and set us on our first Dorito-munching quest!

System: Dungeons & Dragons 4th Edition

Website: Krondor Krew

Contact: krondorkrew@gmail.com

Featured episodes:
Episode 1 :: Part 1 and Part 2
Episode 2
the conclusion to the 1st adventure
Episode 3 :: The Quest for the Erotic Pangolin

<- Back to Dungeons & Doritos!
  • Ghouleh

    Awesome! Cannot wait for the next DnD. Are their stats final, as they were in the original released character sheets? I also wonder if the whole ‘parallel world’ plot of the latest episode was a plot device intended to explain the technical changes in each character’s abilities with the 4E > Sagas transition.

  • The stats, as they appear in the current character sheets, are not final. New character sheets with their current stats are on the way (they are part of a larger project so the new sheets will have much more detail and will also be much easier to update). The parallel world does explain the rules change but only in how the characters are now having to adjust to their abilities. It remains to be seen what else may have come from that or if our heroes have seen the last of The Wizard and any ramifications from the spell and that transition. So, while yes it does conviently explain the technical changes, that is not the extent of it.

  • Josh Hammer

    Is Galdap a chessmaster?

  • I am a… mmp… master of all great thinking games. For I… see SIGHT BEYOND SIGHT!

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  • Hello. I was wondering about Jamela Dalla Egberte III
    played by Cap. Could you respond? I need some help making a background and I love your characters background. Maybe, since Hansai Venatum is Dragonborn, your character and my character are from the same place. Could you help me?

    • Cap

      Hey there dude! Easy with the comment spamming – if you post, chances are I’ll see it. Also, there’s always the forums for possibly lengthy discussions: nerdyshow.com/nerdyforums/

      But in short – you’re talking about a background for your character? I’d say that really needs to be in your hands, but I can give you some ideas of how to start. Whenever I write a character for anything -RPGs, stories, whatev – I consider attributes of people in real life or characters I’m fond of and use them as reference for what I do with it. It’s like painting, you pick the colors. It’s what you do with the colors that makes it yours. Now, whether or not your character comes from Fornix, that’s up to you. Building locations and backstory is complicated. Reading or watching world history and anthropological material is the best way to create fictional people and places with depth. Once again, just pick things you like or find interesting and then discover how those different things combine into something distinctly yours.

  • Sorry, my internet is heavily slow. The comments never show up and I never know if they get on, then it shows the text I had put in, so I think it didn’t go on… Anyway, thanks for input!

  • Another thing: Could you hook me up with that one really good drawer peoples? Well, keep the good stuff coming! I’m thinking of buying a shirt and some dice. Looks awesome! Just a little saying: “May the stars guide, Winds be fair, and Luck be graceful upon your quest (For Doritos).”

    -Hansai Ventus

    • Cap

      Afraid, I can’t help with the art peoples. All of our in-house folk (myself included) are all tied down to jobs and special projects. Best thing to do is hook up with awesome people on sites like deviantart, or maybe even on the forums here. Good luck though! And thanks for all the love and support!

  • Aaron Pena

    Just wondering, and i probably missed it, but whatever happened to j’nn ifer? havent heard him much.

    • capblackard

      The vile Tiefling Jen’Ifer, slunk away in the darkness during the Book 3 Prologue and hasn’t been seen since, save for a brief appearance in our 2014 Crunchmas special, “‘Twas The Night Before Crunchmas”. But he’s out there somewhere!

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