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James Haley’s Willrow_Hood Twitter Feed

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So I understand @nerdyguys is having a #starwars CONTEST w/ #swcv exclusives from @DarkHorseComics + more! http://bit.ly/aCZqXy 9:35 AM Aug 17th via web

did they bother to ask me if I want people out there making stuff up about my life? bad enough @danwall88 made up that ice cream maker story 9:37 AM Aug 17th via web

do you know how long I’ve been trying to live that down? I’m a HERO of the FREAKING Rebellion, man! 9:38 AM Aug 17th via web

and let’s say for argument’s sake it -was- an Ice Cream Maker I was carrying and not a computer core with important secrets of the rebellion 9:39 AM Aug 17th via web

who would blame me – I mean, do you have any idea how much it costs to get a cone nowadays? 9:40 AM Aug 17th via web

and let’s not even talk about amazon’s shipping cost to Bespin. I swear Lando’s running that scam. 9:42 AM Aug 17th via web

Making me sign up for Amazon Prime like I’m some kind of nobody, just so I can get free shipping. Hello! HERO of the Rebllion here. 9:44 AM Aug 17th via web

So now I’m retired, or forced out of work because of “some mental instability” according to the Alliance head shrinkers – take your pick 9:46 AM Aug 17th via web

and using this feed to give you my thoughts on that galaxy far far away, the thoughts of an average joe on #starwars politics, healthcare 9:49 AM Aug 17th via web

not to mention all the ways in which you people are constantly getting the #starwars story WRONG in your books, comics, movies – you name it Tuesday, August 17, 2010 9:50:54 AM via web

RT nerdyshow @Willrow_Hood What can I say man? You’re larger than life, we didn’t even think we could approach you to ask your permission. You’re a king! Tuesday, August 17, 2010 11:51:48 AM via web Retweeted by Willrow_Hood

Please, don’t use that word #willrowhoodisking around me @nerdyshow like we need more monarchies in this galaxy far far away Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:23:21 AM via web

take for instance Naboo. Here’s a #starwars populace that decided to elect teenage girls as their “queen” to run the entire planet. Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:26:01 AM via web

let’s take two great tastes that don’t taste great together (monarchy and democracy) and use the worst of both to form our government! YES! Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:27:12 AM via web

and let’s make sure a teenager is the only one who can be elevated to that position of power, they’re so stable, not prone to abuse of power Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:28:58 AM via web

but hey, Naboo gave us the Emperor and was responsible for the fall of Anakin Skywalker, ultimately leading to the subjugation of the galaxy Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:30:45 AM via web

so it all worked out well in the end. Oh wait. Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:32:47 AM via web

but hey, we apparently love our Empires too. We’ve got ’em thousands of years in the past during The Old Republic #TOR @swtor @lucasarts Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:36:40 AM via web

and we’ve got warring ones (Sith and what? non-Sith? Fel-led?) in my time (Legacy or Skywalker’s Legacy or something) @DarkHorseComics Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:38:26 AM via web

yeah I know freaking Cade Skywalker, or really he knows me. They all do – not that you’d know it at a party where I’m left like a wallflower Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:42:27 AM via web

Princess this and Emperor that, and Baron such-and-such. Do you know who I am – I’m a HERO of the Rebellion dang-it! Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:43:57 AM via web

tomorrow and I’ll talk about retirement in #starwars Wednesday, August 18, 2010 9:45:06 AM via web

people ask me… what I’ve got three followers, SOMEONE may have asked me a question… anyway Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:00:32 AM via web

how does a hero of the rebellion wind up still alive in the time of Cade Skywalker, around 140 years after Yavin? Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:01:54 AM via web

good question – and it leads right into my topic of retirement in #starwars, or “I have to be HOW old to stop working?!” Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:03:15 AM via web

Let’s consider your average Earth “star”. most retire from their business (sports/movies) at around 30 – half the age of the average person Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:05:52 AM via web

Here in a galaxy far, far away, the big three are our biggest celebrites. we’ve got Luke and Leia running around saving the universe at 60 Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:07:23 AM via web

and Han still doing it at 70. At that rate, it means the average Joe gets to retire at age 140! Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:08:34 AM via web

and do you have any idea what that’s done to our healthcare system? I mean, Palps outsourced it to the Hutts during his “new order” Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:10:05 AM via web

because the Hutts don’t care about profits, it’s all about saving the people with them… and then when the Alliance came back into power Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:10:54 AM via web

they took one look at the cost of Healthcare and told the Hutts they could keep it. So yeah, if I’m looking for a slime bath Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:11:48 AM via web

or Euthanasia by way of Rancor (in which they’ll cut you in on a share of the profits from the Holo rights) – you’re covered. Otherwise… Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:14:04 AM via web

all my money goes to Healthcare instead of food, so, well let’s just say it’s a good thing I’ve got this here ice cream maker Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:15:04 AM via web

er, I mean my vast riches from my retirement package as a #herooftherebellion Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:16:20 AM via web

yeah, that’s it. Anyway, next time, #starwars The Clone Wars – or who are all these damn people and why do they all look the same? Thursday, August 19, 2010 9:20:51 AM via web

There was a time when people were constantly talking about #starwars the clone wars. “I fought with your father in the clone wars” and all Friday, August 20, 2010 9:11:27 AM via web

people used to come to cloud city with big talk about all these adventures they’d had – but here’s my problem with it all Friday, August 20, 2010 9:12:19 AM via web

if you “fought” in the clone wars you were either a droid, a clone, or a Jedi. Friday, August 20, 2010 9:14:05 AM via web

I don’t see millions of brothers who look just like you #notaclone Friday, August 20, 2010 9:14:23 AM via web

“I don’t see no pointy ears, but you sound like a Vulcan” #startrek #notadroid Friday, August 20, 2010 9:15:06 AM via web

and while I agree that Vader did about as good a job exterminating Jedi as Stormtroopers are crack shots #ohlookanotherjedisurvivedthepurge Friday, August 20, 2010 9:18:19 AM via web

I don’t see you moving around this amazingly heavy ice cream maker… er, I mean computer terminal with the power of your mind Friday, August 20, 2010 9:19:36 AM via web

helping me escape as Vader and his troops invade our home. So stop with the stories of your feats during the Clone Wars – I don’t buy ’em Friday, August 20, 2010 9:20:50 AM via web

next time (monday), my rant on the Sith, or “man, can’t you come up with a better name than THAT” #theydontpaymeenoughtoworkweekends Friday, August 20, 2010 9:23:26 AM via web

Hey, that’s me! @r2d2central There goes ice cream maker guy! Friday, August 20, 2010 3:30:49 PM via web

Only it’s a computer hard drive and I’m protecting the secrets of the alliance #herooftherebellion Friday, August 20, 2010 3:31:04 PM via web

So I mentioned that today I’d be talking about #starwars names Monday, August 23, 2010 9:42:53 AM via web

There’s been a flap over the recently revealed name of the character who may be Darth Maul’s brother, Savage Oppress at #swcv Monday, August 23, 2010 9:44:14 AM via web

like “Maul” is such a fantastic name. Geeze, I wonder where they thought up that? Monday, August 23, 2010 9:46:11 AM via web

All these Sith lords – it’s like they’re begging the Jedi to make fun of them. Tyrannus. Sidious. Plagueis. Bane. What’s next Darth Evilous? Monday, August 23, 2010 9:48:24 AM via web

Not that it’s limited to only the Sith – I mean come on… Jar Jar. Dex. Jaxxon. R2-KT (Katie). Loathsom. Monday, August 23, 2010 9:52:22 AM via web

and Lowbacca. I love wookies, but really, we couldn’t think of something better than take away the “chew” and replace it with “low” Monday, August 23, 2010 9:52:55 AM via web

and they’ll make action figures out of each of these guys, starting way back with Snaggletooth. But Willrow Hood? Monday, August 23, 2010 9:56:50 AM via web

It takes 30 years for them to make an action figure of this #herooftherebelalliance the grandkids are all “yeah sure you were pops” Monday, August 23, 2010 9:58:26 AM via web

yeah, I’ve got kids, grandkids… I’ll tell you all about trying to raise a family in this crazy galaxy far far away next time Monday, August 23, 2010 9:59:19 AM via web

So yesterday wound up a busy day and I just never had a chance to give the skinny on raising kids and trying to lead a normal #starwars life Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:02:55 AM via web

Don’t let Jango and his “I’m just a simple man” routine fool you, most of us don’t go around wearing armor and doing jobs for Hutts or Sith Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:03:56 AM via web

Anyway, things were busy in this galaxy far, far away for me yesterday – between going to my grandson’s Teras Kasi match Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:06:26 AM via web

which was the highlight of the day – watching him punk that latest kid claiming to be a descendant of Jacen Solo #jamesbondofstarwars Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:07:31 AM via web

there was also my granddaughter’s pet tuantuan showing at the Livestock Exchange and Exhibition Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:10:18 AM via web

there are things at that show that’ll make you realize how good tauntaun’s really DO smell #herestoyouswampslugofdagobah Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:11:58 AM via web

and to wrap it all up, my daughter plays in a “band” which was featuring weequay death metal last night #literallymakesmyearsbleed Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:13:43 AM via web

but that’s raising a family in this crazy universe for ya! Whoops, gotta go, another summer brown-out here on Coruscant Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:15:14 AM via web

need to hook up the ice cream maker to the generator… hey, just because that was a computer hard drive on Bespin Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:16:06 AM via web

doesn’t mean a #herooftherebellion doesn’t like to have ice cream on a hot Coruscant night. Next time – travel in #starwars Wednesday, August 25, 2010 9:16:45 AM via web

Time to talk about the garden spots of the #starwars universe or “jeeze dad, do we have to vacation THERE?” Thursday, August 26, 2010 8:53:59 AM via web

Now things have been in a state of upheaval in this galaxy far, far away for as long as I’ve been alive, there’s always some war going on Thursday, August 26, 2010 8:56:07 AM via web

Alderaan was THE place to vacation… but yeah @DeathStarPR will probably tell you it was remodeling to enhance the customer experience Thursday, August 26, 2010 8:57:51 AM via web

Why do you think Star Tours is offering trips to Endor, Tatooine or Hoth? It’s like the People Express… Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:02:39 AM via web

taking you cheaply to places you don’t really want to visit. Endor – home of killer teddy bears, Hoth – do I even need to say more? Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:03:36 AM via web

And let’s not forget Tatooine, as if the beaches with no water isn’t enough, you’ve got the gangsters, slavery… Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:05:10 AM via web

So, avoiding these garden spots, my wife and I go on our honeymoon to Dac (home of the Mon Calamari, Admiral “it’s a trap” Ackbar, etc. Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:06:49 AM via web

it’s a water world, there’s some land (i.e. beaches) and this is well before the Sith Empire and their retribution… Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:07:55 AM via web

but does that mean it’s a peaceful time – NO, Luke has to go all “fall to the dark side” and join the #darkempire Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:08:53 AM via web

commanding the world devastators to raze Dac. Dude, seriously, have some respect for a fellow #herooftherebellion Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:09:46 AM via web

As you can imagine I didn’t live that one down-well, ever. The kids wanted to visit Disneyworld (like I’m gonna ride Star Tours! see below) Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:13:54 AM via web

So instead we visited places like Corellia (of course that just happened to be when Han’s cousin went crazy and overthrew the government) Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:14:58 AM via web

with my luck we decided to try Duro – no body wants to visit that hellhole. Of course, that’s when the Yuuzahn Vong invaded. Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:17:50 AM via web

it never freaking ends, and I’m not just at these places as a passive observer – no I’m intricately involved Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:19:03 AM via web

but that’s a story for tomorrow “how I constantly save #starwars from utter disaster at the hands of Luke, Leia and Han” Thursday, August 26, 2010 9:20:44 AM via web

So everyone already knows about how I single handedly saved the Rebellion’s bacon during the Galactic Civil War #notanicecreammaker Friday, August 27, 2010 9:35:21 AM via web

But what about all the other times I kept “the #starwars big three” from bringing us to the edge of total disaster? Friday, August 27, 2010 9:37:10 AM via web

Who do you think helped quiet up half the little rebellions going on around the galaxy after the fall of the Empire? General Solo? HA! Friday, August 27, 2010 9:40:11 AM via web

Zsinj wasn’t running scared of Solo and the Wraiths – I had about his former life as a mustatcio twirling holovillain Friday, August 27, 2010 9:42:55 AM via web

information that is… information stored on that very important hard drive #notanicecreammaker Friday, August 27, 2010 9:43:36 AM via web

information that helped Udelen find Goran Beviin, the Mandalorian hired to quell the insurgents on Ter Abbes, oh right before the Vong war Friday, August 27, 2010 9:45:47 AM via web

information that led to the discovery of the Killik Twilight, that painting from Alderaan everbody wanted to so badly Friday, August 27, 2010 9:51:32 AM via web

and who do you think was trusted with R2 all those years after the fall of Ossus to the Sith, before Cade got his paws on it again? Friday, August 27, 2010 9:52:56 AM via web

not the Vong – hell, those guys look at technology and start to shake – ‘ol Willrow, that’s who. and that little bugger still owes me… Friday, August 27, 2010 9:53:45 AM via web

he integrated my ice cream maker right into his body, the little thief – nobody’s got respect for this #herooftherebellion Friday, August 27, 2010 9:54:32 AM via web

next week – new #starwars topics. Who knows what I’ll talk about next. Maybe I’ll dish some gossip on your favorite characters. Friday, August 27, 2010 9:56:30 AM via web

So you think to yourself, “I know all the gossip about my favorite #starwars characters”. Luke smooched his sister… Monday, August 30, 2010 10:06:38 AM via web

Han might have an illegitimate daughter (not true by the way, she’s mine actually). Marakin. Allana’s daddy Jacen Darthmuhwahha Solo. Monday, August 30, 2010 10:08:12 AM via web

but there’s plenty of gossip to go around. All those “sith-lites” like Ventriss, Lumiya, Mara, Stele, Jax… all Palpatine’s kids Monday, August 30, 2010 10:10:51 AM via web

he was a total playa. He had ’em lined up to fill his dance card at the Annual Death Star Rememberance Ball. Monday, August 30, 2010 10:12:05 AM via web

Don’t let that hawk nose fool you, the ladies totally dug his irresistable lines like “you will dance with me”… hey, wait a minute Monday, August 30, 2010 10:13:12 AM via web

anyway, it’s not all about romance either. Take the Galfridian family from @DarkHorseComics Invasion! series. Monday, August 30, 2010 10:15:08 AM via web

you think it’s a coincidence how close that resembles Gallifrey (home of a Doctor you might know)? Monday, August 30, 2010 10:16:44 AM via web

And those droids we’re always relying on for everything… yeah, I’ve heard “They have a plan” for dealing with us #battlestargalactica Monday, August 30, 2010 10:18:54 AM via web

I’ve heard before they all fell to Order66 that Kit Fisto’s droid was calling itself “six” and Plo Koon’s was “7of9” Monday, August 30, 2010 10:21:17 AM via web

but they haven’t been seen in like 60 years or so, I’m sure everything’s fine. Monday, August 30, 2010 10:22:27 AM via web

me? oh I dated around before marrying. This was before the Emperor reborn of course, but let’s see… yeah, Leia, Mara, Mirax Monday, August 30, 2010 10:24:11 AM via web

I could go on, but let’s face it, they all love ice cream… I mean a #herooftherebellion Monday, August 30, 2010 10:25:14 AM via web

but tomorrow I’ll talk about my wife – you think Luke and Mara’s romance was an odd one? Just you wait! Monday, August 30, 2010 10:25:55 AM via web

So everyone knows about Mara Jade’s Last Command #youmustkilllukeskywalkeronlythencanyoumarryhim Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:16:34 AM via web

But how about the story of Mrs. Hood? Sent from the future in a secret location #newengland in a galaxy far far away from #starwars Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:19:55 AM via web

Mrs Hood had been tasked with only one job. Having heard the story from the Whills of all the important things to happen so long ago… Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:21:08 AM via web

She knew the most important was the recipe for Ultimate Force Powered Ice Cream – and the only place it could be found… Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:23:02 AM via web

you guessed it! On ‘ol Willrow’s computer hard drive, as he single handedly prevents the destruction of the Rebellion on Cloud City. Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:24:14 AM via web

the future Mrs Hood was to get her hands on that recipe using any means – I was just an obstacle on the path to #worldicecreamdomination Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:26:50 AM via web

But John Conner was wrong, the future IS set, and I had already been visited by my future daughter, who had warned me what was to come Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:28:08 AM via web

ok, she tortured me with that music of hers until I listened. Anyway, I knew the future Mrs Hood couldn’t resist this #herooftherebellion Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:28:55 AM via web

so like James Bond, I put on the charm and won her over. Plus I gave her the wrong recipe and she kept coming back for more of our “dates” Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:30:15 AM via web

until eventually I wore he down. She’s still looking for that recipe 3 kids and 5 grandkids later. Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:31:41 AM via web

never underestimate the power of the Force (powered ice cream). Speaking of which, tomorrow, I finally REVEAL the recipe to! Tuesday, August 31, 2010 9:32:31 AM via web

Today, I finally reveal the recipe for #starwars Ultimate Force Powered Ice Cream! about 17 hours ago via web

Sith, Jedi, Aing-Tii, followers of the White Current, Nightsisters and more all want to get their hands on this baby about 17 hours ago via web

It’s the ingredients that matter, you mix them in the normal way. So, it’s the ingredients I’ll focus on. about 17 hours ago via web

First you’ve got 1-1/2 ounces unsweetened cocoa powder. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to steal it from Mara’s stockpile. about 17 hours ago via web

that womans loves her hot cocoa. Then get 3 cups half-and-half (made of Nerf milk and Bantha cream) – watch out, they bite! about 17 hours ago via web

1 cup Ysalamiri heavy cream. That always throws off the Force users, “oh I can’t use my powers” wah. about 17 hours ago via web

8 large Accipiptero egg yolks. Found on Dagobah. Ask Luke about his adventure with a dragonsnake to obtain just one of these babies. about 17 hours ago via web

9 ounces Sweetweed. Obviously do not serve this to Twi’leks, as this can have adverse side effects. Like death. about 17 hours ago via web

Unless the Twi’lek is your enemy, either way, proceed with 2 teaspoons pure Bum-bum extract. about 17 hours ago via web

Then, once you’re done churning the thing in a real ice cream maker (unlike my computer hard drive) #notanicecreammaker about 17 hours ago via web

top with Dark Matter Sprinkles and Mitochondria crunchies. The combination of all these things excites the midi-chlorians in your blood about 17 hours ago via web

giving those without Force powers a mild sensitivity (temporarily) and those powerful in the Force a brain freeze about 17 hours ago via web

So there you have it. now to see if my wife leaves me having finally completed her mission. But I doubt it, I’m a #herooftherebellion about 17 hours ago via web

Not sure what subject I’ll cover tomorrow – but if my many followers (6 at last count)have any burning questions, now’s the time to ask     about 17 hours ago  via web

Layoffs seems to be the big news subject today, and yeah, ol’ Willrow has been subject to that as well here in #starwars Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:32:57 AM via web

I mean, once you’ve single handedly defeated the empire and saved the rebel alliance from destruction Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:34:07 AM via web

all while still making the galaxy’s best ice cream, what more is there for you to accomplish? Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:34:49 AM via web

just because the New Republic shrinks’ evaluations used words like “delusional” doesn’t mean anything. Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:36:06 AM via web

Han told Chewie that Luke had “delusions of grandeur”. So anyway, I was put into “forced retirement” or laid off. Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:37:53 AM via web

what’s a former #herooftherebellion supposed to do? what kind of job can a man with my special talents find? Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:38:34 AM via web

if you’re guessing it has to do with ice cream – you’d be right! Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:39:49 AM via web

no not Hood Ice Cream, that’s an Earth company (and trademarked) plus I’ve already eluded to my wife’s connection to that Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:41:07 AM via web

Nope, mine is 31 Thousand Flavors. That’s a lot of flavors, but then we’re on a lot of worlds. There’s a chain anywhere you can think of. Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:42:59 AM via web

Nar Shadda, Ossus, Byss, Myrkr – I’ve got franchises in the best and worst places in a galaxy far, far away Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:44:12 AM via web

but Downtown Disney, those guys turn me down… Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:45:18 AM via web

you know, Hogwarts is doing just fine over at Universal Studios, Disney! #buti’mnotbitter Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:47:02 AM via web

anyway – tomorrow, Willrow’s legacy Thursday, September 02, 2010 9:47:59 AM via web

Legacy. That’s what it’s all about today. You’ve got your Legacy of the Force books, Legacy the comic, and The Legacy Collection toys Friday, September 03, 2010 9:15:25 AM via web

Skywalker’s legacy is pretty secure. The guy re-established the entire Jedi Order, has sons and grandsons to carry on the family name… Friday, September 03, 2010 9:16:43 AM via web

and that’s after turning Vader back to the light, defeating the emperor, destroying the first death star… Friday, September 03, 2010 9:17:31 AM via web

but seriously – did he need umpteen milltion books, comics, action figures, t-shirts, posters, videogames, and more to secure his legacy? Friday, September 03, 2010 9:19:09 AM via web

I mean geeze, the guy’s life from birth to death must be mapped out to the second. It can’t possibly all be true. Friday, September 03, 2010 9:20:51 AM via web

We fellow #heroesoftherebellion have to stick together an all, but I’m just saying, could the man have shared a little of the merchandising Friday, September 03, 2010 9:21:49 AM via web

What’s ‘ol Willrow got? A couple of short stories, a humor piece, and my very own action figure. I suppose it could be worse… Friday, September 03, 2010 9:23:04 AM via web

they could have called me #icecreamguy on my card – like “Snaggletooth” or “Hammerhead” – they have NAMES people! Friday, September 03, 2010 9:25:04 AM via web

my kids and grandkids pat me on the head when I take out my mint in the blister figure, as if to appease the old man Friday, September 03, 2010 9:26:44 AM via web

but really, even if they never believe my “tall tales from the Rebellion”, I’m still a hero to them – for the things I do every day Friday, September 03, 2010 9:27:43 AM via web

and THAT’s really my Legacy. For the rest of you, my Legacy is that even the least likely guy can be a hero, can make a difference Friday, September 03, 2010 9:28:43 AM via web

# even the smallest cameo can be mined for endless merchandising opportunities.     Friday, September 03, 2010 9:30:00 AM  via web

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